someone tell me this is only temporary

when I used to ride the bus to school in junior high, i used to listen to bjork's joga. I would sit as still as possible and sometimes I could make it feel like I was detached from my body. I wouldn't be able to feel my arms or legs when I was just sitting there. I fucking hated Pennsylvania man. That's all I used to think about.

I'm so far in debt. I owe way too much money to too many different places. I haven't been getting adequate sleep at night. I lie there and toss and turn and finally doze off for a bit, my alarm goes off, i stumble around until I have to leave. Then I get on my bike and pedal the 25 minute ride. The only benefit I see is I finally have some color to my typically ghost-like complexion. I will come home and think about the fact that I'm broke and then lay down and listen to music. I will close my eyes while I lie there and finally fall asleep. So far this summer has been unsuccessful. I've only been back a week and a half. It seems that summer just means working more hours a week.
A plethora of shitty things have already happened:
- freeze on my checking acct cause of no activity in 45 days
-rent check late due to frozen acct
-dropped phone in toilet. sober.
-got stuck in rain biking on the way to work... two days in a row.
-small ants are uniting and taking over my apartment
-outta mountain dew
-my parents were an hour late picking me up at the bus station, wouldn't have been bad if it wasn't 2am in cleveland
- $111.05 due to bank by June 23rd

someone make something go right, please???

"I'm fifteen years old and I feel it's already too late to live, don't you?"


edit: i severely miss my old bedroom.