I have been thinking a lot about drinking and driving.
Lately, it feels as if allergies are lurking on my eyelashes and occasionally stabbing my eyeballs. I hate this time of the year. Fall, you can't come soon enough.


I get chills when i think about it sometimes.
I can finally relate to her on all levels.
"I dont have friends here"
I feel like I hear that phrase thrown around so much.




Hold out for the ones you know love you.
Hide out for the ones you know will love you too.




I'm barely there.
Slow.



Where am I going? Why am I doing this?
I used to be so goddamn sure of myself all the time.


I didn't imagine this is what I'd be doing here.
I didn't see this as my future and that's scaring the shit out of me.

Up until this point everything had gone according to plan.
. A whim.
this is nothing like my plan.


I'm supposed to be leaving right now and I don't feel like moving.



I keep dimes in my penny loafters, just sayin.


(i keep head scratchin', I hope this new job didn't give me lice)





L-O-V-E carved your name into me.

It's been a year and I'm still not sure.

I dont know if it's growing up that is confusing me or living here that is confusing me.
I'm not convinced that if I was there it'd be in any better.
All I can say is I've worked doubles everyday this week and I'm so worn out.


But it's been one year so I'm going to go out and celebrate. (and pay for it at work tomorrow, fuck u work)



In the city, you must make yourself light.
In the city, you don't have to decide.
Sometimes check yourself, make sure you're alive.


(looking down on the smallest thing, I'm not seeing anything.)

I feel like someone is burying me alive.



I feel like every hour another couple shovels full of dirt are thrown on top of me.
I am falling down.

I wish my financial situation wasn't affecting the way I feel.

I'm trying to continue to go to school, I'm trying to get another apartment secured, and I'm trying to breathe.

I dont have student loans for next semester. I can't get them without a cosigner.
I dont have an apartment for next semester. I can't get another apartment without a cosigner.


I got a second job and I have been working doubles almost every other day.
I also have a cold, which is restricting my lung capacity.
I have been eating tv dinners which make me want to throw up, i have general tso's knock off shit beside me and I've eaten 2 pieces and I'm worked up and can't eat anymore.

I'm seriously failing.
I'm going fucking crazy.
Can someone please help me?


headphones broke
broke ass bike
too much broke.

I don't really need to see,
so I don't need to see so i'll paint.
I don't know, i'll paint it black.

I don't know me and you don't know you,
so we fit so good together cause I knew you like I knew myself.
We clung on like barnacles on a boat,
eventhough the ship sinks you know you can't let go.

Saying, "Let me in, let me in. Please come out."

Black glass, dirt-based soap.
Tell yourself what you know.
My friends. Oh, my friends.
Bury your head. I'll help you bury your plans.
Hard hit, hard to miss. Problems are what a problem is.





In three song plays it was "Barnacles" - Ugly Casanova, "On the bus mall" - Decemberists, "You remind me of home" - Ben Gibbard.

It made me miss all of you.