i cant wait for you much longer

i didn't realize how much i had left behind or how much i had lost.

i'm thinking so much about all of this now while all of the emotional things that have slipped my mind are being thrown back at me.

i sometimes think i cant breathe and i dont actually know what makes me happy anymore.
i dont even know what it's like to feel my own emotions. i dont know what is healthy for me.
i dont know what i should be doing. i dont know what i want to do with my life. i dont know whether i should sip anymore of this beer. i dont know if i should...