Loose ends

I'm losing it, it's slipping away
away from my grasp with all these chemicals
the medicated numb I am no higher than the cliff I dove from
I'm so proud my spine stands twelve feet tall
each supple nerve wrapped even tighter around than the last
One smooth operator
suave upper vertebrae and shit's still oozing from my brain

No one pats my back anymore
No one pats my back and when they do
I turn ill and want to drown them in my guts
I should've felt some sick sense of self-fulfillment
yet my spine weakens and snaps
all twelve feet tall fall to a heap on this tile
it's cold and not receiving well or with
much politeness at all
I just entered and ultimately cleared a room

I just ate every last strawberry, I wasn't even hungry
Still, I hope someone catches a seed that I blow from the crack of my teeth
I hope it lands on their lip and embeds itself
in a pore until fertilized by vitamin enriched words and
chicken soup for the teenage fucking soul

A tiny door opens and a fox slips in
hope he doesn't fall through the cracks
what's the cream cheese on my bagel? what flavor, if any at all?
Am I that kind of a girl? Do I dream like the king?

with every possible fruit provided, can your fruit salad still be sweet?
everyone knows it's the lemon that preserves this salad
without you the sweet treats of the others go brown and rot

I cannot believe that I have resorted to writing to no one listening.
I talk to no one that reads
I just re-read the first line and it's not promising

Do you ever wish the interior matched the exterior
why can't we teach everyone how to behave with a spoonful of peanut butter
we can make a two-legged dog dance.
Has anyone ever cracked open an egg that has accidentally been fertilized?

If you have to leave a loved one behind on your travels or adventures
your thoughts will turn repeatedly to the small gestures that make your
relationship different from any other you've ever had before.

I blame everyone around me
point that goddamned finger condemning all that stand around me
the second I escape, I begin to see it's still there.